Night

Although it's late and I'm rather tired, I feel obligated to make good on my promise to write here every day. But in the interest of my getting at least a little sleep tonight, it will be a short one.

I suppose the thing, and the reason that I'm still up, is that I don't really want to go to sleep. I'm not scared, and I don't really have anything else to work on tonight. Its just that I'm not tired. I go through most days absolutely exhausted and start really wake up around midnight. How's that for a messed up sleeping schedule?

I'm not sure why this is, but however inconveniently it may fit into the schedule of the real world I have to admit that I kind of like it. I've just always felt like I belonged so much more to the night than to the day. I feel more comfortable at night, more at home. Perhaps the hustle and bustle of the day becomes overwhelming to me sometimes...I know it does in fact. At night I can go most anywhere I please without facing throngs of people in every direction, and I can actually slow my mind down enough to think. There's something very beautiful and peaceful about it.

I'm going to...

Start writing on here every day. Seriously.

A Little Reality

When I started this blog I promised myself that I wouldn't let it get negative. In other words, that I wouldn't let it become a place for me to whine and complain and be overly dramatic about everything. So I write some on here about how great and beautiful life is and all that kinda stuff. And I mean every word of it. But there are still times (like tonight) that I just get to feeling really scared about the future and what's going to happen with everything, and very alone.

I know I'm not the only person that ever feels like this, and I don't mean this to be a negative post. But it's the way I'm feeling right now, and maybe a little realism here and there isn't a bad thing.

However you want to look at it I guess the good news is that without down, there would be no up.

"I'll Believe in Anything"

There are some songs that I tend to listen to on repeat when I'm alone, just because I like them so much and I'm afraid if someone else didn't like them it would just sorta ruin the listening mood for me. Usually there's one aspect of the song that I really like, some set of lyrics or cool breakdown. Of all these, "I'll Believe in Anything" by Wolf Parade is quite possibly my favorite. I would encourage you to check out the video. I really love these lyrics:


"And I could take another hit for you
And I could take away the trips from you
And I could take away the salt from your eyes
Take away skin and salt in you
And I could give you my apologies
By handing over my neologies
And I could take away your shaky knees
And I could give you all the olive trees
And look at the trees
Look at my face
Look at a place far away from here"

Dunzo

One year at IU. Check.

It's been interesting. There will be a lot of time for reflection later. But right now, it's a beautiful day and I'm happy.

Second wind...hopefully

I've gotta say, as pissed as I am that I've been working on my paper since 3 yesterday afternoon with only a break for a couple hours...I just can't help to love all-nighters in some sick way. I've been pulling them for so long that they make me feel sorta nostalgic. And any chance to see the sun rise (or at least the sky brighten in today's case) can't be that bad.

Doing stuff

Sometimes I get really worried that as much as I talk about wanting to do a bunch of cool stuff, when it comes down to it I just sit around and do nothing instead. Wellll let me tell ya, not this weekend. Friday I saw Adventureland, played frisbee, and played four square. Saturday I rocked out on Kirkwood by day and got a little partying done by night. And to top it all off, it was all with some of my closest friends. I guess none of that seems really unbelievably exciting typing it all here, but I really enjoyed it and had a great weekend. Perhaps this is just to say (I think that's the first time I've actually said that on this blog) that we don't always have to do something huge and crazy to be happy (although I'm by no means saying we never do), and I think I could benefit from looking at and focusing on some of the smaller things in life sometimes than the colossal ones. Because the truth is that when the small parts of your day are good, it's a lot easier for your entire day to be good, and vise versa. And sometimes you just have to walk outside and feel the sunlight and believe that everything is going to be alright, and know that life really is full of beauty, even if it does get hidden behind the clouds sometimes.